if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
