quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
