She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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