Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
