Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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