I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
