Don't you send me to vm
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Randomize
