Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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