They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
