Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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