we have pet lesbian snakes
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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