I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
