Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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