so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
