Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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