UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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