that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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