Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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