We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
