i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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