i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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