this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
