Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
pray to the hookup gods
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
