I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
