he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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