we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
