I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Come on in and take your pants off
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