how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
