dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
