Did you just see the Batmobile???
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
