I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
