My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
