In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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