And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
