Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
