It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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