i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
