guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
