I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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