Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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