booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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