yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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