how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
