What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
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