I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
being pregnant is like rehab
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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