I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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