i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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