Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
