idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
