jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
