i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
