just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
