im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
