The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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