Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
