he wants to bone in the snuggie
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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