Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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