I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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